


Dark Paradise

by TheSaraBeara



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Community: masskink, Confusion, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Lies, Lost Love, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Mystery, Non-Canon Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reconciliation, Second Chances, Secret Past, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaraBeara/pseuds/TheSaraBeara
Summary: Story takes place 8 years after the destruction of the Reapers. AU where Shepard is brought back to life a second time. She has sustained significant damage to body and mind and cannot remember anything after her first death above Alchera.Garrus and Wrex who are now council members convince Shepard to do a ‘Savior of the Galaxy’ tour. Which is meant to raise money and resources for the planets hit the hardest by the Reapers. The tour will take two years to complete and end on Earth for the 10th anniversary of the Reapers destruction.AU. Thane Krios is alive. He never left the compact because they did not spend a decade training an assassin to simply let him leave when he accidentally started a family that ended in divorce. Instead, he became a trainer/handler of other assassins for the compact. He never became the Galaxy’s best assassin because Feron took his place.Shepherds has new career as a doll that the Council can puppet and it has filled her with the deepest most desperate sadness. Thane will help awaken her memories of her past and teach her how to cope and love again.
Relationships: Thane Krios/Female Shepard
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Kahje

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: BioWare owns all characters and places used in this story. It was written for fun. Not for profit.

Shepard had her best friend Liara T’soni, on a vid-call. Liara was in her office on Illium, while Shepard was in a gilded dining room that opened into a beautiful master bedroom. The room was magnificent with 16 foot ceilings covered in gold and ivory wallpaper. It was a room meant for Victorian royalty. Shepard was fairly sure the Hanar copied its design from a book they found in an Earth museum.

“Liara, I can’t do this” Shepard repeated for the 100th time.

“You will be fine Shepard. You have done much harder things in your life, then to be pampered for the next two years of it. Of all the people in this galaxy you deserve it the most. And you of all those people, you don’t want it. I however, would love it.”

“Then you do it.” Shepard said aggressively. This tour had not been Liara’s idea, it was Garrus’. Reminder to self, send Garrus his daily “I hate you” message.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to raise my voice at you.” She paused and smiled then grew mockingly shocked. “And I know for a fact you would hate being ‘pampered’ if you can even call it that! You would get so bored, admit it.”

“I don’t know, you have an entire fleet of designers working on dresses and outfits for you every day. That sounds amazing to me.”

“I’m not a doll, Liara.”

“I know Shep, just take a deep breath and try to remember why you are doing this.” Liara said helpfully.

Shepard let her forehead hit the table, she bounced her face up and down on the surface a few times and repeated “I’m doing this for Garrus. I’m doing this for Garrus.”

“And Rex.” Liara added

Shepard took a deep breath and repeated “I’m doing this for Garrus and Rex. I’m doing this for Garrus and Rex.”

“And?” Liara asked.

“And, I’m doing this to raise money for the reconstruction efforts on the planets who were hit hardest by the Reapers.” She repeated the exact same sentence Garrus used on her when he was trying to convince her to do this stupid ‘Savior of the Galaxy’ Tour.

“That’s right and Thessia was one of the planets hit the hardest, remember that. So now, you are doing this for me as well.”

Shepard kept her face on the surface of the table and made a loud grumbly sound.

“And more importantly Shepard, you are doing this for Earth.”

Shepard lifted her head rapidly and said in a whiny voice, “But Liara I’ve been here for less than a week and there already doing weird things. They line up male Drell in the hallway outside my room for me to pick from. I think they want me to choose one to keep me company through the night. I can tell you right now, that’s never happening. I have to go out there and smile and nod and appreciate them and then ultimately turn them all down. It’s so awkward and weird.” Shepard put her head back down on the table again and made a high pitched wailing noise which made Liara laugh.”

“Again, that sounds amazing.” Liara said while laughing.

“Why do I even talk you?!”

“Because you love me.” Liara stopped typing and stared dreamily off into the distance “I bet those Drell are terribly handsome…”

“I’m not saying they aren’t, it’s just that they're so young and the entire situation is strange and uncomfortable. I would never have sex with a person who is paid to do so. It's disingenuous and...gross.”

“The Drell are an openly sexual race, they enjoy new experiences and new partners. You do not have to partake but remember you are a guest on their world, do not judge them and please Shepard; do not offend them.”

“I know, I know, I’m trying, I swear. Next week they are making me dance and I have to pretend to like it.” Shepard made a disgusted face and let her eyes grow wide, she let her face fall back into a smile. “Feron is a huge help by the way, thank you for sending him.”

“He will use any excuse to return home. He makes it seem like I am a truly terrible boss and he cannot wait to get away from me. I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved he isn’t here.”

“I also know he misses you terribly.” Shepard said with a sly smile.

“What! Really, how do you know? What did he say?” Liara said excitedly.

“Nope, I’m not telling you! Gotta go Liara.” Shepard waved goodbye to Liara.

“Oh you evil woman! Call me tomorrow...”

“Will do.” She winked at Liara and closed the call.

Shepard sat back in her chair and let her face fall to neutral. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She honestly didn’t know if she could do this, but not for the reasons she led Liara to believe. Shepherd had spent most of her career thinking about others and always putting them before her. It had got her killed. Twice.

She was so tired of life. So tired of everything that it involved. It was exhausting and she just wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out again. But the universe wouldn’t let that happen, not with everything she had done. Sure, this tour was only two years long but she knew they would continue for the rest of her life and even then, when she finally died of old age they would place her body in a glass coffin and parade her around the galaxy all over again. Or even worse, they probably already had multiple clones of her waiting to take her place and then she’d live forever. They did it once before.

Being a doll that the council could puppet was her new career and it was depressing and disgusting and it filled her with the deepest most desperate sadness. If her eyes were real, she’s sure she could have cried.

She shook herself, and remembered that she had already mourned the loss of the woman she once was. No need to repeat the action, it would not bring her back. She had died in the vacuum of space above Alchera, to save her crew. She had died again on the Citadel, to save the Galaxy. There wasn’t much left of her now. Except maybe her dignity and even that, the universe would kill as well.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

A knock came from the door and she woke herself from her dark thoughts.

She sighed, “You may enter.”

Feron greeted her warmly, “Shepard, how was your chat with Liara?”

“Wonderful, she told me to tell you, she misses you.”

“No, she didn’t.”

Shepard smiled, so far she had failed to convince him of any of her little lies but she would fool him soon enough, “What do I owe this pleasure, Feron?”

“Shepard, your attendants are here to dress and prepare you for dinner. This will be a much larger affair then last night and we need to go over who you will meet and how you should behave.”

Shepard sighed, “How exciting.” She said dryly. “Please, send them in.”

Feron bowed and left.

Shepard rolled her eyes and mumbled to herself.

When Feron returned and was joined by 10 others carrying boxes of supplies, shoes and a dress. This group was made up of 5 personal attendants who would be with her for the next two years and the other 5 were Drell, who were there to help her with protocol and procedure. They, along with Feron, would help prepare her for this evening’s entertainment, which she would become.

Shepard sighed and put on her most convincing authoritative commander face, “Alright, Let’s get started.”  
*************************************************************************************************************************************  
In many other parts of the palace, different preparations were being made for the dinner party. Never before had Kahje had such an important guest and the Hanar had pulled every resource at their disposal to hopefully impress Shepard and through her, the council. While Shepard was here to gain funds for the reconstruction effort, the Hanar desperately wanted a seat on the council and would do anything to get it. Since Kahje was the first planet on the tour they wanted to make a good impression and set the standard for the other planets to follow.

Thane Krios was officially retired as a handler but he remained on with the compact as a specialist and trainer. While ‘The savior of the Galaxy’ was here, he was brought in to consult on pretty much everything. Right now, he was assigning a hidden security detail for the evening’s festivities, one of whom was masquerading as one of Shepard’s Drell attendants. Shepards safety and protection was his # 1 priority and if that meant invading her privacy to keep her safe from her own people, then so be it. No harm would come to her while he watched over her.

So far Shepard’s stay had been very uneventful, it had only been a few days but he hoped it would stay that way and yet somehow, knowing her, it wouldn't.

His Omni-tool buzzed, with a message from Kolyat: Father, I need to speak to you.

With the security detail mostly complete, he took a personal moment and called his son.

“Father, how are you?”

“I am well Kolyat and you?”

“Fantastic Father, how is preparations for Shepherd's stay going?”

“They are going well and before you ask, that is all I can tell you, the rest...”

“…Is classified. I understand Father. So listen, I was wondering if I could ask a favour of you.

“What is it you require Kolyat.”

Kolyat made a grimace, he was very used to his Father's formal tone, but sometimes the way his Father spoke to him made him feel like a more of an annoyance then a son.

“Father, today is Anon’s birthday but he is assigned to Shepard’s consort detail for this evening and I was hoping you could remove him just for tonight?”

Thane sighed, Anon was Kolyat’s best friend, Thane had introduced Anon to Kolyat when Anon was given to the compact. Anon had very distinct markings and unique colouring and at the age of 6 he was chosen to be a consort. His training was far less disciplined then Thanes and Anon was given more freedoms, like friends. “Kolyat, I do not have the authority to relieve Anon from his duty.”

“No, I know that Father, but you could maybe take his place just for tonight.” Before his father could speak, Kolyat rapidly continued, “Father, Sera Shepard has yet to take a consort and Anon says she has no desire too. She tells them so every night. You will only be bothered for maybe 10 minutes, I swear Father.”

“Kolyat, I am not a consort.”

“Yes, I know Father but it would just be for tonight for a few minutes, please, it’s his favourite band and I want this to be his birthday present.”

Ah, there was the truth Thane was seeking. Kolyat wanted to give Anon this night of normality for his birthday. Which was a strange human custom that had slowly spread to Kahje over the last few decades. It was not something he felt compelled to celebrate but apparently the youth did. Since Thane had grown up in the compact he never knew what it was so be so frivolous but he was learning through his son that the youth of Kahje were sometimes beyond his understanding.

“Kolyat, even if I wanted to, I could not take Anons place as a consort because I am not one.” Thane watched his sons face fall with disappointment, “But I will see what I can do.”

Kolyat’s face filled back up with excitement, “Thank you so much Father!”

“Kolyat, that does not mean yes.” He said with a small smile, seeing his son so happy brought him the greatest joy and he could not help but smile as well. “I will let you know.”

“Thank you Father!”

“You are welcome, Kolyat.”

He ended the vid-call and sent a message to Anon’s handler, Nymera. She and Thane were lovers long ago. That is how Kolyat and Anon meet. He asked her what could be done about the situation, but he could already guess what her response would be. He also knew what she would want in return for the favor.  
**********************************************************************************************************************************  
“Sera Shepard, your evening’s consorts are here.” Said the Drell attendant. 

Great, Shepard thought, “Let’s get this over with.” She said under her breath.

When she stepped out into the hallway, she was greeted not only by male Drell but female Drell and a few Hanar. They were all standing in a neat row down the centre. The organizers of this line up, were growing desperate to please her but clearly had no idea what she was into. Now, they were just guessing.

She decided to do the only thing that came naturally to her, she spoke to each of them as a commander would speak to her crew. “How are you?” “Are they treating you well?” “Do you have everything you need?” and so on. As she passed she would look each individual in the eye, then she would speak and they would answer and bow.

When she finally reached the end of the line, she turned her attention to the last Drell.

He was a tall male and before she could look up at his face, she was immediately drawn to a long scar that ran down the centre of his chest. It stood out like a line of white fire against the green of his scales. The scar was almost identical to her own and without realizing it, she unconsciously moved towards the Drell and reached towards his scar.

Before her finger tips could touch him, the male softly grabbed her hand and held it still within his palm.

Shepard snapped to reality and immediately looked up at the male. He was gazing down at her with a curiously lifted brow. She pulled her hand away.

She stepped back, “Forgive me, I didn’t mean to…” But before she could finish apologizing, the organizer clapped his hands and all the consorts stepped back leaving her and the male standing in the middle of the hallway together.

The organizer approached them with a large smile and bowed, “I am overjoyed that you have found a consort that pleases you, Sera.”  
“No, no, no, no, no. I didn’t mean to do that.” Shepard tried to explain while the organizer was slowly ushering her and the male into her private room. Within 15 seconds she found herself completely alone with the tall green Drell.


	2. Steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For now, we see in a mirror, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know fully even as also I was fully known.

Cerberus was not the powerful organization it once was. It had taken a huge financial hit when The Illusive Man had become an indoctrinated psychopath, putting all his resources towards unknowingly helping the Reapers.

With Miranda Lawson as the new leader, she was making changes to create unity between all races, not just humans.

Miranda’s first act after the destruction of the Reapers was finding Shepard’s body among the rubble of the Citadel and putting her back together. She had done it once before, she decided she could do it again, the question of whether or not she should, was never asked. It would turn out to be far more difficult of an endeavor than she ever could have imagined.

Shepard’s entire right side of her body had been crushed and her lungs had been punctured, which meant she had died of suffocation again, except this time she had drowned in her own blood. It was a relatively fast death in comparison to her death over Alchera. Her lungs had been replaced with artificial ones along with many of her other internal organs.

Her right leg was now completely artificial, from her toes all the way up to her hip had to be removed and replaced during her reconstruction, even her skin was a polymer bio weave.

Her right arm was also completely artificial.

The signal receptors in her brain that communicate movement and feeling from her first reconstruction were fused and could not be replaced without damaging her further. As a result, she had little control over her arm. Sometimes it would be in constant pain and other times, it would move completely on its own. Dampeners and pain blockers were implanted and could be controlled remotely via her Omni-tool.

While she was in public the dampeners were at full capacity but while she was alone, she would sometimes turn them off, just to see what would happen. Now, was not one of those times.

All of Shepard’s designers and attendants were made aware of her physical limitations far before the ‘Saviour of the Galaxy Tour’ began. Upon each planet she would wear clothing that blended the Aliens culture with comfort and class. Designers were chosen from each planet and it was advertised as an honor to dress Shepard. But what most people didn’t know was the designers had paid top dollar for that honor.

Their job was not an easy one.

Firstly, they had to work around her arm without trying to hide it. Shepard was a war veteran and her arm was a physical reminder to everyone of what she had accomplished. She was not ashamed or embarrassed about it, at least that’s what she wanted everyone to believe, the truth of what she really felt was an entirely different story. Which was also completely irrelevant because no one actually cared enough to ask her.

Secondly, because of her artificial leg, high heels were not something she was physically able to wear or at least that’s what she had told them. The damage to her brain made her balance a delicate thing, among other things. So flats or small wedge shoes had to be designed that matched the theme of every outfit.

There was unbelievably ridiculous the amount of effort put into what she wore on her feet, let alone on her body. Every inch of her was manicured and sculpted to be as perfect as possible.

When they tried to remove her scars, she may have freaked out just a little and trapped all the estheticians in a biotic shield. Her scars were the only thing that made her feel real. They were a reminder of the pain she suffered even if she couldn’t remember it.

Her scars had been allowed to remain.

*****

When her attendants finally declared she was ready for the evening, they stood back and admired their hard work.

Shepard did not wish to see what they had done to her because it didn’t matter. She was here to play a role. Seeing herself would only make her feel more ridiculous.

So she thanked them all graciously and lied by saying “A mirror would only make me feel more nervous, then already am.” They bowed and left, feeling quite pleased with themselves. They would return after the evening’s events to remove her from the ridiculous outfit.

Shepard just stood for a moment considering the job she was sent here to do.

Which Shepard should she be for this little party?

Smart Shepard? Sassy Shepard? Sweet Shepard? Which lie would make everyone happy?

Sweet Shepard, was a fan favorite but sassy Shepard was way more fun.

No! Remember this is important. Think of Garrus and Liara, don’t mess this up.

Fine. Sweet Shepard it is. But Sweet Shepard is going to take her sweet ass time getting down to this party.

What was left of her old self liked to argue with her new more negative personality.

Negative wasn’t the right word, realistic was a more accurate description.

The two argued like a dysfunctional miserable couple stuck together in a loveless relationship.

Her mind was divided but mainly it was broken and whenever she was alone, her thoughts became conversations of their own.

They kept her company.

******

In other parts of the massive facility built for Shepards tour, Thane had added himself to Shepards hidden security detail for the evening’s events. This supper was meant to be a practise for the much larger event that would take place next week.

He was dressed as one of the many dinner guests in traditional Drell formal wear. He mingled and blinded in with the other guests when he was notified via a sub dermal implant that Shepard was being escorted to the area and would be there momentarily.

When she entered the large dining hall all conversation stopped and everyone turned to her direction. She promptly made her way to the Hannar governing council known as the Illuminated Primacy, they were the most important people in the room, other than her. She placed her left hand on her heart and bowed forward at the waist. When she straightened, she lowered her arm, squared her shoulders and held her head high with confidence.

One of the Hannar tried the human greeting of shaking hands but used all his tentacles instead of just one. A smile slowly spread across her face as a joyous laugh rippled from her chest as her arm was completely engulfed with tentacle slime.

All the tension in the room evaporated at the sound of her laugh and everyone who had been holding their breath, let it go.

Conversation promptly started back up again.

Thane watched her and even from a distance, he could see she was thin. She had lost much of her muscle definition and was almost frail, like a flower.

She was tall for a human female and here on Kahje she towered over the female Drell who were petit in comparison to their much taller male counterparts. Her height along with her personality made her even more intimidating.

She was wearing a white floor length dress inspired by a traditional Drell panel design. As she moved about the room it was easy to notice she walked with a limp, she never fully extended her right leg and also never put her full weight on it either.

Her right arm was secured tightly around her waist with thin silver iridescent wire which was wrapped loosely. It started at the tips of her fingers, wrapped around her wrist and forearm and continued all the way up to her shoulder. From there it shifted to her upper chest and worked its way around her long neck.

The silver of the iridescent wire mixed and reflected the blue light from her implants covering her arm, shoulder and spine, it turned them into bright gem stones of eye-catching light.

Her left arm was completely bare. Not jewelweed or covered in anyway. Instead, all her scars were put on display to anyone who dared look.  
She was beautiful. But to him, she always had been.

This was the woman who had saved the entire galaxy and Thane was sure she could not weigh more than 115 lbs. As he watched her, it quickly became apparent that she could command a room with her presence alone. Yes, she had been a soldier and he had seen her skills as a commander in person but her real skills lie in the way she could manipulate a person into feeling like they were the only one in the room that mattered. She had done the same to him, long ago.

She was charismatic, charming and when she smiled it lit up her eyes, which quickly spread out to everyone around her. She never let anyone feel embarrassed or awkward because she would save them from it.

Even in this room full of complete strangers, she was placing others before herself and because of it, every single person would probably do absolutely anything for her.  
Every ally she was able to make; every peace treaty she was able to create was never about her. Never about fame. It was truly about helping others.  
She didn’t save the galaxy to save herself. She saved the galaxy for everyone else.

And here she was, doing it again. Trying to continue to help by raising money and resources for the reconstruction effort. Not for herself, but for everyone else.

As the evening continued, Thane noticed that Shepard’s limp began to worsen. She started leaning to the left, not using her right leg at all and sometimes she would use her left arm to seek support from objects, such as tables, chairs and even walls. He suspected that she was most likely in pain from standing for so long in the same position or at least extremely uncomfortable, if nothing else.

Thane would speak to someone about maybe making her more comfortable during these events. Hanar could float in mid-air and they often forget that other alien races needed to stand. Doing so for long periods of time, while not moving was uncomfortable for most, especially for a war vet with an artificial leg.

As he watched her, she began swaying from side to side ever so slightly and he had a sudden sinking feeling in his chest. He began making his way towards her and when he was just a few feet behind her, her left leg buckled and gave out completely.

In one fluid motion, he had reached for her left arm and placed his palm in the small of her back, effectively pushing her back up. He used his hand on her arm to tilt her to the right, forcing her to put her weight on her artificial leg while wrapping her arm around his shoulders. She gasped and gave an audible hiss of pain as she tried to steady herself enough to partly stand.

“Steady. I have you.” He whispered quietly, he didn’t wish to startle her further.

“Thank you.” She said quietly in return.

“I am sorry to cause you any more pain. Can you walk?”

“I…I’m sorry. I’m not sure if I can.” She whispered weakly.

As Thane supported the rest of her weight a concerned crowd began to form around them.

“I am going to lift you up. Is that alright?”

She began to shake her head from side to side. “No, wait. Please. I can try and make it to a chair.”

She slowly put more weight on her right leg and cautiously took a step. As her weight shifted forward she began to tremble but she continued on. She was leaning almost entirely on him by the time they made it to a chair.

He gently released her, bowed and stepped back as her attendants rushed forward. They began fusing over her and she dismissed their concerns with a warm smile. As Feron made it to her side, Thane disappeared into the large crowd around her and vanished.

Feron leaned down to Shepard’s ear “Was that absolutely necessary?”

Shepard kept her smile plastered in place and whispered back, “You told me to be vulnerable.”

“To be. Not to act, Shepard.”

“Same thing.”

Ferron sighed while Shepard continued to smile. She knew this event would be cut short because of her leg. The sooner she left this room, the sooner she could get out of this ridiculous dress.

What did it matter if it was an act? The Hanar got what they wanted, dinner and a show. Isn’t that what the whole tour was about?

*****

The encounter between Thane and Shepard lasted no more than 15 seconds but he had touched her. He could still feel the warmth from her skin in his arms and fingertips. It was overwhelming and by the time he had made it out of the great hall his memories were threatening to overtake him completely.

Drell had the ability of perfect memory recall. Anything and everything they had ever experienced could be relieved at any moment. It was called solipsism and it was as beautiful as it was dangerous. To be able to remember a loved one long after they were gone was both a blessing and a curse. Some Drell could lose themselves completely to a memory and either go mad or starve to death.

Thane had been trained to never let his memories overpower him because while in that state he would be vulnerable and an assassin could never be that, even a retired one.  
He tried to take a calming breath but her scent was in his nose and it sent him over the edge.

_Silhouettes in the dark…leather and steel pressed together…her lips on mine…her tongue asking entrance…aggressive…unyielding… she pulls away to speak… if we do this, we do it as equals… she’s a mess of gorgeous chaos and I can see it in her eyes._

Thane opened his eyes with the taste of her on his lips. “…Shepard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what I am doing. I have no editor for this fanfic so be kind and feel free to point out areas of the story that may need more work.  
> 


	3. Hunger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For now, in this time of imperfection, we see in a mirror dimly. A blurred reflection, a riddle, an enigma, but when the time of perfection comes we will see reality face to face. Now I know in parts, just in fragments, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known.

~Hours later in Shepard’s private room~

The male was older, but it was hard to say how old exactly. Age was a difficult thing for her to place on anyone who wasn’t human, and even that was tricky.

Something in the way he stood. The dense muscles on his arms and chest told her they were earned over a lifetime of experience.

The consorts she dismissed every night were certainly fit and muscular, but not like him, he was something else, his body screamed discipline. The way he held his head, chest, legs wide and hands held behind his back, told her he was not a consort. He was most likely a soldier or fighter of some kind.

He was gorgeous.

What was he? More importantly. Who was he?

These were both very interesting questions of which she really wanted to know the answer to, but she also needed to get him out of her room before she did something stupid and got herself into trouble.

She considered her options. Which Shepard would be most helpful in this situation, she thought while she looked at him.

Sexy Shepard? Though enticing the idea was, that would probably cause more problems.

Stupid Shepard? No, he wouldn’t fall for that, no one probably would here in fact.

Scary Shepard? Ha! He was too big maybe if he was dumb enough but the sharp look in his eyes told her otherwise.

Straightforward Shepard then? It was probably the safest option.

What about being yourself? A tiny hidden voice said.

What purpose would that serve?

You and he just had a moment, a genuine moment in that hallway.

I wouldn’t call it that. Also, he's consort. He’s trained to do that.

Be yourself. If he’s just a consort, then you will lose nothing in trying.

Nor gain anything.

Freedom… if only for a brief moment. Isn’t that enough?

She turned her full attention back to the male. She watched him as he checked the corners of the room, and when his eyes returned to her they instantly softened.

His large obsidian eyes were beautiful and so familiar some how.

She sighed, oh lord, I have a bad feeling about this one.

*****

This evening so far had not gone as expected. He shouldn’t be here. Allowing himself to take Anons place to please Kolyat had been foolish. He was not a consort and was extremely underprepared for anything more than talking should Shepard require it or so he thought.

They were standing in the entryway just staring at each other.

Somehow she appeared even smaller, though he had seen her just a few hours ago. Was it the clothes or her persona that made the change, he wondered.

All her makeup had been removed and with its absence, her eyes were more intimidating. Her hair was loose and flowed freely over her bare shoulders and down her back. It was long and curled at the ends. Humans were the only species in the galaxy with hair and he could admit openly that it fascinated him. Especially her hair, it had been one of his favorite things about her. 

She was wearing a grey tank top with tight blue jeans that had fraying holes up and down the front of the legs. Her left knee was covered by a large brace for extra support. He would injure privately later if perhaps physical therapy would benefit her in any way.

Surprisingly, she was barefoot with blue painted toenails.

He had momentarily lost himself in looking at her and she had noticed. The glare she was giving him now was one of disdain and curious suspicion.

He quickly lowered his eyes and bowed to her.

She closed her eyes and sighed, “Listen, I’m sorry if I may have misled you in the hallway, but your services as a consort will not be required this evening.”

She waited for him to speak and when he did not, she continued “I’m sorry if this will get you into any kind of trouble or make your handler angry, I really don’t want that. I will happily lie about the quality of your services if that would help or be of any consolation.”

He furrowed his brow at her comment. Would she really?

“Look, I clearly don’t know much about consorts, but can you not speak or something?” Shepard asked with sharp irritation.

He solemnly nodded at her.

Shepard's eyes widened in shock. “OH GOD. I'm so sorry… I didn’t know.”

She looked very confused, “So… how are we supposed to communicate?”

Thane realized he would have to speak. How did consorts communicate? “We need permission to speak freely.”

“Oh! Of course, you have my permission.”

“Thank you.” He bowed his head again, when he returned his gaze back to her face, her expression had changed. Her glare had softened and she was gazing at him with open curiosity.

“Humans are far more verbal than most other species.” She turned her head to the side and continued to gaze at him intently while she listened. So he continued “Some believe that speaking can be more intimate than physical touch. That is why permission must be given in either case.”

“I see.”

He held his left hand out to her, mimicking the Human greeting of shaking hands. She squinted her eyes at him but a small smile bloomed on her lips as she slowly took his hand in hers. When her palm touched his and her fingers wrapped around his hand, her palm was warm and soft.

She gave his hand a tight squeeze which he reciprocated. When she released him, he changed his potion and while still holding her hand, he bowed and brought her hand to his lips and kissed the top of her hand. He immediately released her hand, straightened.

She rolled her eyes at him while turning her head away, she could hide her smile but she could not hide the blush that had rolled up her neck to her cheek. Humans were the only species who could blush like that, it was delightful to watch.

When she turned back to him she had a smile in her eyes, “I can’t believe I just let you do that.” She shook her head from side to side, “I have a sinking suspicion that you are going to be terribly hard to get rid of.” 

She was correct and he let a smile slowly spread across his face.

"What's your name?" she asked softly

“Thane Krios.” There was no point in lying, she would likely find out anyway.

Her brow furrowed in confusion for a moment then returned to neutral just as fast. She bowed her head, "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Sere Krios."

He bowed his head in return, "The pleasure is all mine, Siha."

Her gaze suddenly sharpened on him and her back straightened raising her to her full height.

The Drell had many words that didn’t translate to her. ‘Sera’ for example was equivalent to ‘my lady’. Not knowing what ‘Siha’ meant didn’t overly matter but hearing him say that word suddenly made goosebumps rise up all over her body.

It gave her genuine pleasure that she couldn’t explain and it surprised the hell out of her.

It was at this time her stomach decided to completely ruin the moment by giving the loudest grumble imaginable. Which was mildly embarrassing but it was one of the only organs she had left that still functioned moderately well, so she tried her best not to make it angry.

“Feron usually orders me something after the consorts are dismissed but… things are a little different this evening.” She trailed off looking at him hard.

“Please, allow me.” Thane quickly pulled up his Omni tool and started assessing the menu available.

“Have you had an opportunity to try many Drell dishes during your stay?”

“Umm… no. Not really. I didn’t know where to begin.” She answered.

“I shall order an assortment of very popular cultural dishes for you to try.”

So far they had been awkwardly standing in the entryway to her suit so she invited him in.

She backed away from him towards the living area. “Won’t you please come in, Sere Krios.” She turned and walked further into the room.

In the living area Shepard did not sit down on the couch but instead leaned against it, facing him with her arms folded across her chest. Her body language spoke volumes about what she was thinking. Her position was not for comfort or she would have sat down. It gave her the ability to push off the arm of the couch quickly if needed and it told him she was weary of him. The folded arms over her chest was a position of vulnerability, she was uncomfortable with him. Her right hand fingers were tapping on her left arm, indicating her irritation of the current situation.

That’s when Thane realized her right arm was not bound to her waist and did indeed have the ability for movement. It was moving now; her right hand was tapping against her left. It had also been her right hand that had reached for his scar in the hallway. It was her right hand he had shook and had held within his own. How could he have become so distracted by her to have missed such an important detail?

It would seem he was having the same effect on her. This woman was a master of manipulation, she was charming and charismatic and could control a room with a single smile and yet, she appeared nervous, quiet and uncomfortable with him. Why? Was it because she thought he was a consort? Did she think he would suddenly force himself upon her? Or was it simply that she wanted to be alone? The simplest answer was most likely the correct one. This woman was constantly being watched, everything she did was scrutinized and criticised. He was guilty of it as well and here he was invading what little privacy she had left.

He should go and leave her in peace… but the selfish part of him did not want to.

She opened her mouth to speak “I…” she took a deep breath and tried again “umm…” “Sorry, this situation is just weird to me. I mean no offence.”

“May I ask what you find ‘weird’ about it?”

“Well...”

She looked down at her arms and uncrossed them suddenly, letting them fall to her sides. She moved around to the front of the couch and sat down propping her elbows on her knees.

“It’s complicated but I suppose the short answer is… I currently have a consort in my room who is paid to please me in any way I desire. Who would have thought defeating the Reapers would grant me such an honor?” She shut her eyes tightly. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t… mean to sound disrespectful or ungrateful.” She shook her head and stood up again and held her right arm around her waist with her left.

“I make you uncomfortable.” He added.

“Yes… and oddly no.”

Thane approached her, intending to sit on the couch next to her but changed his mind at the last second and sat on a floor cushion instead.

“Perhaps it would make you feel more comfortable to know… I am not actually a consort.”

Shepard snapped her eyes to him. “What?”

“I am actually in charge of your security and safety while here on Kahje.”

Blatant confusion showed on Shepard’s face “But you were in the line up?”

“Yes.”

She blinked at him “and…?”

He continued to stare at her.

“Why were you there?” Shepard added quickly.

“Ah, there are two answers to that question. Firstly, there are many members of your security team who blend in with staff and guests. I was simply there for your protection. He bowed his head to her.

Shepard blushed “…and?”

“Secondly, I took the place of a consort as a favor to my son.”

Shepard’s expression became serious “Your son is a consort?”

“No, his friend Anon is a consort. He was supposed to be a part of your detail for this evening. However, my son, Kolyat, asked for me to take his place so he may have the night off for his birthday. The organizer only agreed because he felt I was too old to draw your attention. He was confident you would not choose me.”

She smiled and started to giggle Thane knew this entire situation was ridiculous. Her giggles turned into a laugh, she tried to cover her mouth and stop it. She stilled her face and looked at him. He was staring at her with a puzzled look on his face and it only made her laugh harder.

He smiled and a low deep toned chuckle emerged from his lips.

Drell were a dual toned species. This gave their voices a rough echo quality. Thane’s vocals were very unique both deep and light, like a bass and an alto in perfect harmony, it was beautiful.

He was seated just a few feet away from her but she could feel the rumble of his laugh in her chest. He was looking at her with one side of his mouth lifted into a smile, revealing two very sharp looking fangs.

Shepard covered her mouth and let her laugh die down with a great sigh.

“So you’re not a consort?”

“No.”

“So I don’t have to lie and say we had sex?”

Thane smiled “No… however if you wish, I am more than willing…”

Shepard laughed and quickly threw a pillow from the couch at him which he caught very swiftly and placed softly on the floor next to him. Drell that joke. That’s new.

“You’re in charge of my security team?”

“Yes.”

Shepard grew silent for a few moments then looked at him thoughtfully “It was you wasn’t it?”

Thane stared at her.

“This evening, when my leg gave out. You caught me.”

He bowed his head to her again. “Yes.”

Shepard dropped her eyes to the floor. No need to share how she had planned that little collapse and how he has almost ruined it by catching her.

“Thank you for that.”

“You are very welcome.”

Suddenly, a knock came from the door breaking the intimate moment that was building between them.

The food had finally arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Special thanks to my biggest fan Amanda. She loves my garbage.


	4. Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For now, we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim blurred reflection of reality as in a riddle or enigma, but then when perfection comes we shall see it in reality, face to face! Now I know imperfectly, but I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood.

Dinner was delicious. Yes, some Drell dishes were an acquired taste but everything was unique and different from anything that she had ever eaten before.

Listening to Thane explain each dish and the region it had originated from had been exciting. The male had a voice that could melt butter and she could listen to him speak about nothing for hours.

Everything about him fascinated her. She wanted to ask him so many questions. This biggest question on her mind being about the scar that ran down the centre of his chest. More often than not, her eyes would return to it again and again.

Once it seemed their conversation about food was at an end she blurted out, “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“You want to know about my scar.” Saying it as a statement not a question.

Shepard winced embarrassingly, “That obvious huh?”

“You have been staring all night.”

She covered her face momentarily, “I used to be more subtle.”

“Subtle is nowhere near how I would describe you, Shepard.” Thane paused momentarily, that statement came off far too familiar. He would need to be subtle if he didn’t wish to give himself away too soon.

“I will answer your question. If I may ask you one in return.”

She looked at him curiously and smiled, “That’s only fair.”

He returned her smile and held her gaze for a few moments before looking down at the table and taking a deep breath.

“The scar is from an artificial lung transplant. In my youth I was reckless and did not protect my lungs from smoke and humidity as I should have. We Drell are susceptible to a fatal lung disease known as Kepral's Syndrome. It renders our lungs incapable of absorbing oxygen and ultimately, to breathe at all. It feels like slowly drowning to death. A cure is not far away I am told by my son. However, I would not have lived long enough to see it, if not for the transplant.”

He returned his eyes to Shepard, who had a pale blank expression on her face. She was staring at his scar again. “In the end, I got the transplant for my son.”

The moment he mentioned his son, her eyes shot back up to his and whatever dark place his story had taken her to, was gone momentarily.

Now it was his turn, “Why?”

She looked at him curiously, “What?”

“My scar. Why did you want to know about it?”

She stared at him for a long moment, internally deciding if she should answer or not.

Then she stood from her chair and slowly pulled down the front of her grey tank top revealing the tops of her breasts and a long white scar that ran down the centre of her chest. He had seen the scar before but it was much bigger now. In fact, there were scars all over her chest that had not been there before. It took him by surprise, his eyes grew wide and he drew in a quick breath.

She fixed her top and sat back down. Then she closed her eyes and with a voice barely above a whisper she spoke, “You said it felt like slowly drowning to death. That’s how I died. The second time I mean. My body was crushed and my lungs were punctured. They slowly filled with blood, and I drowned.”

She lifted her eyes to the ceiling exposing her neck and took a deep breath, then continued, “My lungs are artificial too.”

There was a beat of silence then she stood up suddenly, “I need a drink.” She quickly left the dining room leaving Thane stunned still sitting at the table.

When she made it to the bar in the living room she reached for the whiskey and poured a huge glass.

_Come on Shep, pull yourself together. Why did you ask about his scar? Why did you tell him about yours? Fuck!_

She chugged the whiskey down in 5 seconds, ignoring the burn the last bit caused. She poured another huge glass and when she reached for it a green hand got there first and covered it with his palm.

She turned on him angrily, “Hey..!”

“Alcohol will not make the pain go away.” Thane knew that she could not get drunk, her cybernetic implants filtered it out of her blood stream too quickly. He also knew from their past together that she only used alcohol to numb feelings she would rather ignore.

“You don’t know that!” With lightning fast speed, she reached for the bottle of whiskey.

“Indeed, I do.” With even faster reflexes he grabbed it before she did and held it out away from her.

She stood back from him. “I think it’s time you left.”

“I think not.”

“Leave. Now.” She hissed.

“No.” He growled.

“That’s an order.”

A small smile spread across his face which only made her angrier.

“Who dare yo…”Shepard didn’t get to finish her angry question because in three swift steps Thane had walked right up to her and crushed his lips against hers.

Then just as suddenly, he released her.

Shepard just stood there, eyes wide in shock. “What the fuck?”

“May I touch your hair?”

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Humans are the only species in this entire galaxy with hair and yours is beautiful.” He said quietly.

Not waiting for her to respond he reached for the ends of her hair and played with the small curl. He then moved his hand further up to where her hair had pooled on her shoulder. He tilted his hand to let her hair fall between his fingers. He continued to move his hand down, grazing her shoulder and arm.

Once he reached the end, he moved his hand back into her hair near her ear. He pressed his palm to her scalp and pushed his fingers harder through her hair.

He glanced at her face. She was staring at him but her gaze had softened. Her anger was evaporating.

He lifted his left hand to copy the same action on the other side of her head and brought his lips down to lightly graze her temple. She moved into the touch, the action was barely noticeable. However, through his lips, he could feel her heart rate accelerate slightly. She was enjoying this, even though she was angry.

And yet, she tilted her head back exposing her long neck to him and he pressed his lips into her soft skin. She sighed and let her head fall back completely. He opened his mouth and he allowed himself to taste her.

She was sweet and salty. He moved his tongue to the pulse point below her ear and sucked lightly at the soft skin. She moaned quietly as a shiver ran through her body.

He lifted his head and looked at her. She was gazing back at him with hooded eyes. Her breathing was much heavier now, along with his own.

He should step back from her.

He should leave before he cannot control himself anymore.

But she made the decision for him and closed the space between them and pressed her lips against his.

At first her lips were hard but they softened the moment he pressed back. He felt her tongue tasting his lips, asking for entry and he granted it. The moment their tongues touched an involuntary growl left his throat and she moaned in response. Her tongue was so different from his, it was larger and coarser and she was aggressive, and unyielding with it, just like he remembered.

She pressed her tongue against his before letting him slide around hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss by tilting her head to the side.

He is walking backwards with his arms wrapped around her waist, dragging her with him.

When they finally come up for air they are sitting on the couch and she was straddling his lap.

She pulled back from him and cupped his face with her hands. She pressed her fingertips into the soft velvety flesh of his frills on the side of his face and he growled low in his throat.

“Why did you kiss me?” She asked quietly.

He opened his eyes to look at her “You were focusing on your pain. I wanted to give you something else… to focus on.”

“Are you sure you’re not a consort?” She said with a sly smile.

“Is it not my turn to ask you a question?”

Shepard sat back further and crossed her arms around her chest. “Oh is that how we're gonna play this?”

“Indeed.”

Shepard laughed “So you’ll answer that question but not the other?”

“Yes.”

“Smartass Drell.” She moved to playfully hit him but he was too fast for her and grabbed each of her wrists and pulled her closer to him until her breasts were pressing up against his chest. She awkwardly yelped when he grabbed her but then melted into him as he took her mouth with his own again.

This time, it was Thanes turn to be aggressive. He used his tongue to pry her lips apart as he moved both her wrists into one of his hands. The other he moved to her back and lifted the bottom of her shirt. As his hand made contact with her bare skin he lightly dragged his figure tips to the bottom curve of her breast but before he could move further she changed the position of her wrists and pushed down, breaking his hold. Her legs that were on either side of his thighs came up around his waist and squeezed him hard. Her strength caught his off guard and he bit down on her lip by accident.

“Ouch!” She pulled back, placing her hand to her mouth.

“I am sorry… I did not...”

She shook her head “It's fine…wow those things are sharp.” She eyed him curiously and let a mischievous smile spread across her face “What do the Drell use them for?”

Thane smiled fully, showing her his fangs. “Long ago venom was used by males of my species to subdue a female for the purpose of reproduction. Females do not have fangs, while males do. Now…” he moved his hands to her arms and ran his palms slowly up her skin “…sex is consensual and enjoyable for both males and females…” as his hands moved to her neck, he pulled her closer and lowered his lips to trail his fangs along her soft skin. She took a shaky breath and gasped. “…and subduing is no longer required.”

She grabbed his face with both hands and held him in place as she brought her lips up to his. She did not kiss him but instead used her lips to lightly caress his. Every time he tried to press forward, she would draw back ever so slightly and smile teasingly.

A loud growl ripped from his throat and suddenly the room shifted as she was thrown on her back. He had her pinned to the couch and had his tongue in her mouth in a matter of seconds.

She relaxed the hold her legs had around his waist which allowed for a more comfortable fit as their bodies pressed against each other.

Their kissing was quickly leaving the realm of playful and rapidly moving into an advanced state of foreplay. Thane shouldn’t have let it get this far. Why had he kissed her? He needed to think of something unless he truly wanted to have sex with her, which he did but not like this. Her words “…if we do this, we do it as equals…” echoed in his head and right now he had the advantage of knowledge, when she did not. He had made that mistake with her once before, he would not repeat it.

He pulled away from her and lifted his body off her chest, though their pelvises were still pressed together. All she had to do was roll her hips up to meet him and he would be done for.

They were breathing very heavily now and her face was flushed.

He gazed down at her and smiled. “Now, I believe you owe me three questions.”

Shepard burst out laughing “Oh for the love of …” she took a deep breath which turned from a giggle into a laugh again then she continued “Please Sere Krios, by all means, ask away.” She looked off into the distance for a second then back to him “Wait, why does the air taste sparkly?”

He laughed sending glorious vibrations from his chest into her core. Her eyes involuntarily rolled to the back of her head and she let her head fall back on the couch exposing her neck to him again.

“It is a side effect of the venom in my saliva. By pressing your tongue against mine you are absorbing some of it.”

“Fascinating.” She said with a smile.

She lifted her head and pressed her lips against his softly. They kissed slower this time, she was exploring his mouth, feeling his tongue and tasting him. Her hands were now pressed against his chest, her fingers spread out to feel his scales. They were travelling up to his neck and if she touched his frills while he was this aroused he did not know if he would be able control himself.

He pulled away from her, breathing heavily. “Now you owe me four questions.”

She smiled and looked up at him. Her eyes were dilated and her cheeks were flushed, “What else can that venom do?”

“Would the great Commander Shepard like to find out?” His voice was pitched so low the sentence was almost inaudible.

“Is it better then whiskey?” She asked

“It is better than sex.” He said boldly.

“You really should have led with that.”

He moved his lips to the soft pulse point right below her ear and gently pierced her skin with his fangs releasing his venom into her bloodstream.  
She moaned out words that sound something like “Oh fuck.” Before her body went completely limp and she blacked out.

*****

In the morning Shepard was woken by one of her Asari attendants, Cassana. Who had been handpicked and trained by Liara. “Shepard. Are you alright? We knocked and called for you. But you did not wake.”

Shepard lifted her head to look at all of her attendants who had gathered near the door of her room with worried expressions on their faces. She let her head fall back on her pillow and closed her eyes again.

“I was sleeping… it’s what people do in bed!”

A smile spread across her face. “Among other things.” And then she started to giggle.

Cassana waved away the others and approached Shepherd. She pulled the blankets down away from Shepard’s face and neck revealing the two puncture marks on her throat. “Shepard, you are still high on Drell venom.”

“I am not.” She tried to sit up but became dizzy and laid back down, “Okay…maybe just a little.”

“Curious that a Drell consort would bite you. That’s a very intimate act.” Cassana moved to the night stand and pulled out a small box.

“He wasn’t a consort.” Shepard huffed.

“Is that what he told you?” Cassana smiled as she pulled out a small vial of medi-gel and a bottle of pills from the box. Which she placed on the nightstand.

“I am still fully dressed!” Shepard flung the blankets away from her body to show she hadn’t slept with him. Problem was, she wasn’t wearing any pants. “…I took those off… later…” she quickly covered herself back up and rolled away pretending to go back to sleep but discreetly checked that she was still wearing panties. Satisfied that she was, she closed her eyes again.

Cassana continued to smile and took two pills out of the bottle, “Take these. They will help with the side effects.”

Shepard yawned “Ten more minutes and I promise I’ll get up.”

“You have your first big interview today Shepard.”

Shepard made a grumbly sound “I haven’t slept this good in over a decade. Why can’t you just leave me here?”

“Ferron will be here any moment.”

Shepard sighed heavily then reluctantly rolled over and sat up in the bed.

Cassana reached for Shepard’s shoulder to steady her, then handed her the pills and a glass of water. “Now take the pills…and drink all of that water. You’re going to need it.” “Yes maam.” Shepard said sheepishly.

Cassana grabbed the medi-gel from the night stand and applied a small amount to the puncher marks on Shepard’s throat.  
“I was saving those for later.” Shepard said jokingly.

“That male tried to mark you. I don’t blame him but they can’t stay… Ferron would lose his shit if he saw these.” Cassana added under her breath as she finished up with the medi-gel.

“I would pay to see that.” Shepard added.

“Me too.” Cassana finished.

Then the two women bust out laughing.

Liara picked Cassana wisely. She had wanted someone who would take care of Shepard like a friend, a sister. Someone who would be caring but also someone tough enough to take Shepard’s shit. Cassana was realistic and had a bit of a dark side like Shepard. They got along nicely.

*****

When Shepard got out of the shower Ferron was sitting at the dining room table waiting for her.

“Funny, I could have sworn you were given your own room too.” She said irritably.

“Your breakfast came with a note.” Feron said with a smile. “It reads…”

Shepard yanked the note away from him and sprinted to the other side of the table.

_The fruit and tea will help with the headache._   
_See you again soon._   
_\- Your consort TK_

Shepard didn’t hide the smile and blush that spread across her face. She returned to the other side of the table and put the note down next to her. She poured a cup of tea and grabbed some fruit. She curled her legs up in the chair and grabbed the note to read it again.

Ferron watched her with a smirk on his face “You didn’t strike me as the type.”

“Don’t. Even. Think. About. Saying it.” Shepard said very quickly.

She lifted the tea to her nose, closed her eyes and inhaled. The scent was rich and spicy. She tilted the cup forward so the hot liquid touched her lips kinda how Thanes tongue had the night before. She let the tea spill into her mouth and discovered it had a tingly quality to it too. When she swallowed she could feel it move all the way down her throat and settle into her soul.

She shook herself. What the fuck had come over her? She barely knew the guy and she was fairly certain that they had only kissed. There was just something about him that fascinated her. And she couldn’t help but be attracted to him. And his voice…

She took another sip and let a satisfied sigh leave her mouth.

“I thought you said you would NEVER…” Ferron continued which completely ruined her sexy train of thought.

She grabbed a piece of fruit and threw it at him which he caught mid-air and popped in his mouth while still keeping that shitty grin on his face.

“Oh and you will be pleased to know that that little stunt you pulled with your leg at dinner last night, has earned you some very real physiotherapy. You’re welcome.”

Shepard opened her Omni-tool and wrote her daily message to Garrus: _I hate you._

Once it was sent she returned her attention back to her lovely tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to heat up in the next chapter but not in the way you think. I don't know what came over me but I couldn't stop myself. Enjoy.


	5. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not the sex he wanted but it's the sex he got. Sorry, not sorry.

_For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror, but face to face. Now, in part I know, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known._

When Garrus had presented the ‘Savior of the Galaxy Tour’ to the rest of the council. It was agreed that before any decision could be made, Shepard’s mental state had to be evaluated and assessed.

When she had first woken up after the destruction of the Citadel her brain was barley functional.

The Prothean beacons, and the Reapers had ripped through her mind multiple times; she had also suffocated to death, twice. The damage to her brain had been severe.

Over time, her brain adapted the best way that it could. Pathways healed and bypassed the damaged areas however her memories were fractured. Any effort to try to recall them would send her mind into a spinning loop.

Those closest to her helped protect her from memories she didn’t need, to save her from the pain it would cause to remember.

During her evaluation it had also been discovered that Shepard’s brain had compartmentalized her personality into different people, different versions on herself. At first, she would talk out loud to them, like they were in the room with her. Eventually, she learned to speak with in her own mind again but they still remained with her like a dysfunctional internal monologue.

However, in the 8 years that had passed, she continued to separate them.

She was broken.

She would never be who she once was again.

Garrus knew this, so instead of making her evaluation public, he did what brothers do. He lied and hid the truth from his fellow council members.

The truth wouldn’t change the outcome of the tour.

It wouldn’t change everything she had done.

It wouldn’t change the countless sacrifices she had made to save the galaxy.

It wouldn’t change the pain she had suffered.

It wouldn’t bring back the people she had lost.

In the end, Garrus decided the galaxy didn’t need to know.

*****

Thane moved his lips to the soft pulse point right below her ear and gently pierced her skin with his fangs releasing his venom into her blood stream.

She gasped while taking a deep breath and released it as moan. The words that came from low in her throat sounded something like “Oh fuck.” Before her body went completely limp and she passed out.

Thane removed his fangs from her tender skin and hovered above her. There were many things he had wanted to do in that moment, like lay with her or hold her in his arms. But both would be inappropriate.

Biting her had been a coward’s escape. He should not have allowed things to progress as far as they had.

He would need to show more self control with her, in the future.

He gently gathered her in his arms and picked her up.

She curled herself up against his chest and sighed as he carried her to her bedroom. When he set her down on her bed, she began to stir. He brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered. “Sleep Shia.”

She sighed again and stilled.

He walked swiftly out of the room and closed the door. He tidied the room, returned the whiskey to its proper place and called for room service to clear away the mess from dinner. He quickly disabled the cameras outside her suit and snuck out. No doubt he would be questioned if seen leaving Shepard’s rooms dressed as a consort. Better to leave no evidence.

It was late and not many would be up and about the facility. He went to security to grab his clothes and changed out of the consort robes he borrowed from Nymeria. She would want those back as soon as possible and she would also want to her payment as well. But he didn’t want to deal with her at the moment.

He made his way home in a haze. His body was still on fire with desire for Shepard. She had awoken still waters that ran much deeper then he had realized.

He needed to calm himself and gain control over his emotions. He sat a lotus position on the floor of his bedroom and focused on slowing his breathing.

He let his mind travel back to the last time he had seen her after the Reaper war.

_He had received an anonymous message that her body had been found._

_There was little known of her condition but he had used every contact at his disposal to find her._

_His relationship with her had been known to many, including her crew and though their relationship had ended suddenly, no one had questioned his desire to see her._

_Many of her crew who had become her friends and family were there with her. Waiting._

_Liara, Miranda, Karen, Joker, EDI, Tali, Jack and Garrus._

_It was Garrus who had taken Thane aside and tried to warn him away from seeing her. Not to protect her from him but instead to protect him from her._

_The Turian had lost much of his color and girth. It was clear he had not been eating or sleeping properly._

_“Listen Krios, is there any way I can convince you to leave without seeing her?”_

_“No.”_

_“She’s alive isn’t that enough?” Garrus asked._

_“No.” Thane replied._

_“She isn’t well.”_

_“That is why I have come, Vakarian.”_

_“Yeah I know but…she isn’t Shepard anymore.” Garrus said quietly._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“It was too much. All of it was too much. Her mind it’s… broken.”_

_Thane stared at Garrus in silence._

_“Remember her for who she was, not for who she has become. If she improves I’ll let you know…”_

_“I am going to see her Vakarian.”_

_“…I know… but remember… I tried to stop you.”_

_Garrus accompanied Thane into Shepard’s room. When Thane walked in, the room it was dark and Shepard was sitting up in her bed looking out the window. He could see the light from the outside world reflected off her face._

_She was perfectly still and her wrists and ankles were strapped down to the bed very tightly allowing for little movement._

_When he approached her, she made no movement to look at him and just continued to stare out the window._

_Until he spoke… “Siha?”_

_Her head whipped around in his direction, her eyes grew wide then she opened her mouth and screamed._

_She began to thrash around and pulled at her restraints as she continued to scream._

_She screamed until her eyes filled with tears._

_She screamed until the nurses rushed in to sedate her._

_She screamed all the while still staring at him._

_Then they were pushed out of the room by a very angry Miranda Lawson._

_Thane braced himself against the hallway wall outside her room._

_He could still hear her screaming through the door._

_Garrus just stood there with his face in his hands and his shoulders slummed forward._

_Thane does not remember his feet taking him back to the lobby._

_He does not remember how long he and Garrus sat together._

_When Thane finally spoke his voice was barely above a whisper, “How long has she been...”_

_Garrus cut him off knowing what he going to ask “Since she woke up a couple weeks ago. No one can reach her.”_

_“And the mercenary. Massani?”_

_Garrus was quit for a moment. “He was with her till the very end. They died together, side by side. She should have stayed that way.” He stood and turned to walk away but paused “Listen, if anything changes. I’ll let you know.”_

_“Thank you Vakarian.”_

_“She cared for you once…It’s the least I can do… For her sake.” He hummed weakly and walked away._

_Through the years Garrus kept his word. Every step she had made towards progress was forwarded on to Thane. The message he had waited for that told him her memory had returned never came. Instead, he learned that any effort to make her remember was useless and caused her terrible mental anguish. It pained her to not remember those who had been lost to her even those who were still alive._

Thane was suddenly awoken from his meditation by the perimeter sensors around his home.

He leapt up from the floor to his weapon locker in the closet and pulled up the feed from the cameras on his Omni-tool.

He paused when the footage came up. If he had been one to use colorful language, he would have sworn in that moment. He put the gun he was holding back in the locker and went to the front door.

Before she had an opportunity to knock, he opened it.

“Nymeria, you know it is unwise to sneak up on an assassin.” Thane said angrily.

“I wasn’t sneaking and you’re retired.”

“It is late. Why are you here?”

“I’ve come for the consort robs you borrowed.”

“Could that not have waited until tomorrow?”

“Absolutely not.”

He let his annoyance visibly show on his face as he opened the door wider to let her in. When she passed him, he caught her scent and his eyes widened in shock. He slammed the door and swiftly grabbed her by the throat then threw her against the wall. Through gritted teeth he spoke “You are in-heat! How dare you come here.”

She clawed at his hand and tried to speak however she could only manage a whisper. “I came for my payment.”

He squeezed her throat tighter and moved closer to her face. “Now is not a good time Nymeria.”

She was gasping for breath, he loosened his hold slightly and she took a huge gulping breath. “A deal is a deal Thane. I hear you got what you wanted, now I want mine.”

He let a furious growl rip from his chest “You will regret it!”

She let go of his hand and opened the coat she was wearing. She let it fall to the floor, revealing her naked body underneath. “Make me.”

The scent of her hit him hard. He was already overstimulated from his time with Shepard. Nymeria was not what his soul wanted but his body had its own needs.

He slowly released his grip on her throat and let his hand fall to his side.

It was all the confirmation she needed.

She moved towards him and placed her lips on the fills along the side of his face. She used her tongue to caress the velvet folds as she undid his pants.

She sank to her knees and slowly lowered them down his hips revealing his beautiful throbbing cock.

She moved her lips to the frills near his hips and dragged her tongue down to were they met at the base.

Thane placed his hands on the back of her head and closed his eyes. He pulled images from his evening with Shepard and let a fantasy build around him. He could feel her hair through his fingers on her scalp, he pressed harder as she took him into her mouth.

The deep rumble of pleasure left his chest as he felt her tongue and lips close over the tip of his cock. She took him deeper into her mouth and he moved his hips forward wanting more contact. She was ready for him and opened her mouth wider to take his full length down her throat.

When he began to increase the pace of his thrusts, she slowed him down and pulled away from him.

She stood and pressed her body up against his while wrapping a leg around his hips. He grabbed her at the waist and lifted her up, allowing her to wrap the other leg around him as well.

She brought her lips down to his and he opened his mouth to her instantly. He let his memory of Shepard’s tongue in his mouth overpower Nymerias.

He turned them around and pressed her back up against the wall. He pushed his hips up to press the tip of his cock against her wet opening. One big thrust was all it would take and she would be his.

Instead of pulling a past memory of Shepard, he created a new one. He thought about tonight, how things would have gone had she rolled her hips towards him when he had her pinned on the couch, he would have thrusted he hips forward in response.

So he did.

He pushed into her and he let a deep growl leave his throat as Nymeria hummed like female Drell do during sex.

He grabbed her throat and squeezed, “Shut up.”

He closed his eyes and let his fantasy engulf him again.

He pulled out slowly and thrusted hard back into her again.

Shepard moaned. “…Thane.”

He brought his lips down to her throat and trailed his fangs along her neck as he pushed his cock into her.

She rolled her hips forward to met him thrust for thrust as she ran her finger nails down his back.

He hissed and she caught a scale and ripped it out.

“Harder.” She whispered.

He pulled out, grabbed her around the waist and carried her to the table in the kitchen. He laid her down, wrapped her thighs around his hips and pressed the tip of his cock at her opening again.

“Beg.”

“No.” She said with defiance.

He pushed the tip in a little further, then pulled out.

She gasped.

“Beg.” He said through gritted teeth.

“No.” She repeated.

He pushed all the way in and slowly pulled out. He watched her eyes as they rolled to the back of her head while she moaned.

“Beg for it!” He growled, he was growing impatient.

She smiled at him. “I don’t need to.” She then began to breath heavily, forcing her chest to raise dramatically up and down. Then she started to pant which turned into small moans. She rolled her hips up toying with his cock, pushing him in a little further and squeezing her walls around the tip.

He gasped. He was losing his resolve very quickly and she knew it.

She moaned again and arched her back off the table and presented her breast to him.

He slowly pushed into her as he bent forward not being able to resist what she had offered him.

She suddenly locked her legs around his hips and pressed her thighs together trapping him in place. She then gabbed his throat with both hands and squeezed. She brought her lips up to his frill and nipped at the soft velvet flesh, and with a sly smile she said “Beg.”

He bared his teeth and growled at her.

"Beg" She said as she squeezed his throat.

He growled again.

“Beg for it.” She whispered as she closed her eyes and tightened her walls around his cock again and again.

He couldn’t hold on much longer. He was going to cum and he wanted to make her scream as he did so he gave into her.

“…please…Shia.”

She released him with a smile and he threw her down on to the table. He grabbed onto her thighs and used them as leverage as he thrusted repeatedly into her with punishing force.

She breaths grew more and more erratic as her walls began to convulse. “God don’t stop...I’m…I’m gonna cum…”

She squeezed her eyes shut as her back arched off the table. She screamed his name low in her throat.

It was too much and he was sent over the edge to follow her.

His hips jerked forward and he called out her name as he came deep inside of her.

He lowered his body to rest on top of hers without allowing her to take his full weight. She wrapped her arms around him as they laid there for what felt like hours breathing the same breath.

Then Nymeria spoke destroying the fantasy Thane had allowed himself to get lost in.

“Payment accepted.”

His eyes flew open as he pulled away from her in horror.

Nymeria continued to lay on the table for a few moments then she sat up and leapt off.

Thane was in shock; what had he done?

She walked past him to where she had dropped her coat and casually put it back on. She then returned to him and held her out hand palm up. “Robes.”

“Get out.” He said quietly.

“Robes.” She repeated.

If she did not leave this instant, he would force her to.

He let his biotics flair out around him, and repeated his command, “GET OUT!”

“Robes first.” She said with a small smile. She had gotten what she wanted, now she was just fucking with him.

Thane used his warp ability and threw her towards the door. She hit the surface which knocked the breath right out of her. As she fell forward, gasping, Thane picked her up by her throat, opened the front door and threw her out.

He stumbled back into his entry way and slowly sank to his knees placing his head in his hands.

How could he have been so reckless to let his body overpower his mind.

He was completely disgusted with himself.

He had thought he was better then that.

But he wasn’t.

He had used Nymeria for his own pleasure and in return he had given her the only thing she needed to create life.

His seed.


End file.
